you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
