So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
