you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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