Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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