In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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