I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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