i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
