I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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