When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize