I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She's the barista slut.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
