I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
