yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
