It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
