where does the pee come out of this thing
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
