Whod you bang
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
