I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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