My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
