Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
