My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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