I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
