38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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