If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
