I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
