big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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