I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
NoShamevember. You game?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
