i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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