what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
