Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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