I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
