three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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