dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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