Your mouth is God's brothel.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
two words...techno handjob
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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