Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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