Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize