hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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