Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
