fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
