Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
