You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
