I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
