Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
where am i from again
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
