did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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