my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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