My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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