i permit you to call me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
