i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
