I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
