very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
