corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
