well most of my day revolves around power hour
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im calling her cock vulture from now on
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
