You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
