Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize