I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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