why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
