I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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