i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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