i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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