I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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