please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
