And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
