You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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