i think my mom watched the whole time
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
