I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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