There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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