you traded sex for a burrito?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
