I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
