They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
