Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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